Simple - Jade
PG - implied m/m slash, angst
Characters: Raven/Rob Van Dam
Summary: Songfic based on the Goo Goo Dolls' 'Iris'. Raven's choices are simpler than he'd like to admit. Disclaimer: We own neither the characters nor the individuals who portray them. Written soley for our own enjoyment.

Raven didn't really know how he had come to be outside this door. He just knew he was and somehow his hand was knocking.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow

He was so lonely...so tired. He needed Rob. Finally, he was ready to admit that. Throughout their time together, he'd kept his distance never letting Rob know just HOW much he cared. How much he needed him. He couldn't give that much of himself to anybody. He couldn't give up control. Rob had seen it and had the courage to let go. He'd had the strength to cut his losses and run. Raven never could quite deny how much it hurt and how much it was his fault.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

Raven never could get Rob's voice from that final night out of his head. Just one line, five little words, delivered in Rob's quiet, understanding voice. "If you ever need me...", it trailed off into the silent room as the door closed behind Rob with a soft click.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life

It echoed through the recesses of Raven's brain bouncing off the walls and reverberating through his very soul. For months, he'd fought that voice. He fought the way it clawed at his carefully erected walls. He fought the way it dug throughout them in search of waht he hid. He fought the way it made him miss Rob.

When sooner or later, it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

He'd hated it, screamed at it, and destroyed it with drugs and alcohol only to have it return with sobriety louder and more insistent than before. Night after night, he wrestled for control. Little by little, Rob's voice would win.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Last night, he drank himself into a haze, but when the voice had been silenced by the siren song of the bottle, he'd suddenly felt empty. He panicked desperately afraide Rob's voice would never come back. It would never return to patiently wear down what walls were left. And that scared Raven more than having them destroyed ever did.

Then he knew.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'
Or the moment of truth in your lies

He knew he couldn't survive like he had before. He couldn't stay what he was any longer. He needed Rob. There was only one person he wanted at his side as he dropped his control and foundout how it felt. He needed Rob, and it hurt not to have him.

When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

Now, here he was not really sure how he would say to Rob what he needed to say. When Rob opened the door, Raven's bloodshot eyes filled with long denied tears. It became so simple. Three words were uttered in a husky whisper, "I need you." Rob smiled and held out his hand. So simple.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am